Losers on Atlantis
by Lady Starhawk
Summary: When geeks collide, Jake Jensen meets Rodney McKay.  The Losers are on loan to the Stargate Program and sent to the Pegasus Galaxy.
1. Transferring

Title: Losers on Atlantis: Transferring

Author: Lady Starhawk

Pairing: None (Jensen/Atlantis if you squint)

Rating: T (Language mostly)

Notes: I have several random little pieces of fic that I intended to turn into a story, but it hasn't happened yet. Figured I would just post them as a collection and not worry about connecting them together. Enjoy!

Further Note: I haven't had these beta'd, so I apologize for any mistakes. Nothing recognizable is mine :p.

"We've got incoming Colonel" Jensen said holding the lifesigns detector out in front of him.

"Any idea who it is?" Roque stepped closer to the door of the room they were currently in. He pulled one of the knives he had on him and waited in ambush position in the shadows. Their set of rooms was at the very end of the hall farthest away from everybody else. The rest of the base was afraid of them, so Shepard had placed them in their own area.

"Negative. It's human, but I haven't had time to calibrate them any more sensitive than that."

Clay nodded and motioned with his head for Pooch and Cougar to cover the Hacker's exit. "Go."

Jensen nodded and slid through the door of the closet. Pooch moved a table and chair in front of it, and Cougar pulled out cards and set one of his guns on it. For all the world it looked like the two men had been playing cards for a while now.

Clay pulled up the magazine he was reading and relaxed on the couch waiting for the figure to enter.

A few seconds later a man came bursting through the door, "Where is he?" The man hollered. Roque waited for the man to walk all the way past the threshold before he closed the door and stood in front of it.

"Dr. McKay." Clay closed the magazine and leaned forward, "To what do we owe this lovely visit to the military's neck of the woods?"

"Where is he? I know he's hiding here somewhere. I demand that your Corporal Jensen come with me immediately."

"And why would he do that doc?" Roque started cleaning under his nails with the knife, in an attempt to intimidate the man.

"Because I have requested he be transferred to my team. He's a scientist. If he insists on hacking the systems and upgrading the equipment he needs to be a member of the science team, and therefore mine."

Clay shook his head and stood, "I'm sorry Dr. McKay, but Corporal Jensen is on temporary loan from the US Army. We're technically not part of your expedition, and not part of your teams." Clay clapped Rodney on the shoulder. "I'm not sure if your Lt. Colonel explained things to you, or not, but _technically_ I outrank him. See mine's a full bird, his isn't. If I wanted to, I could take his job. Then he, and all the other military guys, would answer to me."

Rodney visibly paled at that.

"But, since my team and I are just here to help out, I didn't think it necessary to disrupt the order of the city at this time." Clay leaned closer to Rodney and lowered his voice, "Don't make me regret that decision Doctor."

Rodney pulled away from Clay and steeled himself. "Keep your boy out of my stuff and we won't have an issue."

"Perhaps if you tried working with him instead of trying to change him, he would help you fix the errors he has found in your code for interacting with the city." Cougar drew a card and added it to his hand.

"I'll have you know, I programmed most of that myself."

"Because everyone knows that theoretical physicists make the best programmers." Pooch had laughter in his eyes as he turned back to Cougar, "You got any threes?"

"Go fish."

Rodney's face turned beet red, but he said nothing more, just turned and almost ran right into Roque. He tried to shove the bigger man out of the way, but he wouldn't budge.

"Roque" Clay said, and Roque laughed, moved aside, and opened the door to allow the, now fuming, scientist back out into the hall.

Rodney took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "This isn't over Colonel Clay. I have a request in to Command, as well as Elizabeth and Colonel Shepard."

"_Lieutenant_ Colonel Shepard, you mean." Clay sat back down with his magazine. "Make all the requests you wish, you're not getting any of my men."

The door shut at that point and the Losers all relaxed. Pooch moved the table and Jensen came out smiling, "You like me. You _really_ like me."

They all rolled their eyes and went back to what they were doing before Rodney McKay burst into their HQ.

"Jensen?" Clay said as Jensen sat back down with his laptop open. He waited until he had the hacker's full attention, "Please stop aggravating the head of the science department. It's his city and we're guests. Please act accordingly."

"But colonel, my momma always taught me to leave a place better than when I arrived."

"That may be true, but stay out of Rodney's code. At least until we get established here and I know Dr. Weir won't grant his request."

"You wouldn't let that happen, would you?" Jensen shuddered, "the very idea of having to work for that blowhard turns my insides green."

"Don't tempt me Jensen." Clay gave Jensen a devious grin, and went back to his book.

Jensen pouted for a bit, until he found something shiny and interesting in the database, forgetting all about the previous conversation.


	2. Luchtime Confessions

Title: Losers on Atlantis: Lunchtime Confessions

Author: Lady Starhawk

Pairing: None (Jensen/Atlantis if you squint)

Rating: T (Language mostly)

Notes: I have several random little pieces of fic that I intended to turn into a story, but it hasn't happened yet. Figured I would just post them as a collection and not worry about connecting them together. Enjoy!

Further Note: I haven't had these beta'd, so I apologize for any mistakes. Nothing recognizable is mine :p.

"I hate that guy." Rodney McKay slammed his tray down, splashing coffee all over the table, and almost all over John.

"Who?" John took a sip of his own coffee and fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Jensen."

John nodded, but didn't step in to talk. Corporal Jake Jensen was one of Clay's guys.

"He can't' seem to keep his hands out of my work. In the week they've been here he's upgraded all of the software we're using to interface with the city, calibrated the lifesigns detectors to detect specific TYPES of lifesigns; he's working on individual identification right now by the way, AND I think the city likes him better than me."

John leaned forward, "Let me get this straight, he's making things better around here, and therefore you hate him?"

"Yes." Rodney nodded. "Just because he's got a stronger gene and an affinity for computers and electronics does NOT mean that he needs to use them."

John inwardly shook his head. "You want me to have a talk with him?"

"Yes."

John leaned back in his chair, "Well, I won't." Rodney started to sputter, but John kept going, "He's doing exactly what command hoped he would do. He is the perfect mesh of your science guys and my military guys. Everybody likes him." McKay coughed, "Okay everybody but _you_ likes him." Rodney nodded. "The city's running more efficiently than ever, and she likes him. It's the best outcome we could have hoped for." Rodney looked ready to start into one of his rants again, but John stopped him, "I'll be sending them out on long-term assignments to explore the city starting next week. He won't be in your hair any more than e-mails and instant messages."

"He had better not kill us all with something he finds in the city."

John laughed, "No, that was just you."

John stood and grabbed his tray, "Clay and his team will be out of your hair in a few days. Please try to play nice, huh?"

John walked away as Rodney was muttering angrily to himself under his breath.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the cafeteria:

Jensen slammed his tray down on the table, "I hate that guy." He tore into his burrito with much more gusto than anybody at the table was comfortable with, while making sounds that should be illegal in public.

"What guy?" Clay asked as he cut up his own meal with a knife and fork.

"McKay." He said with his mouth full.

They all nodded their heads and agreed with him.

"Well you won't have to deal with him too much longer. Shepard told me this morning that next week we're being sent out on long-term assignment to explore the city." The others nodded as they ate. "He feels that we have enough of a grasp of how the city works and how the ancient technology interfaces with our own to be allowed out." He took another bite of his lunch, "And he said that Atlantis likes Jensen enough that he's now her favorite person, other than John himself, much to McKay's displeasure." Jensen smiled at that, but continued to tear through his burrito, trying to contain the meat and the juices.

"None of them are comfortable with us around." Roque said as he pulled his own knife out of his pocket and used it to cut up his meat.

"Speak for yourself, everybody loves The Pooch." Pooch smiled.

"Especially Jolene." Cougar smiled as he wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"Just because I have a science hottie after me and you don't, doesn't mean that everybody else on the base doesn't like me." Pooch took a drink of his coffee.

"Yeah, and except for McKay everybody else likes me just fine." Jensen started unwrapping his second huge burrito. "It's you scary mucks that make them uncomfortable. A guy that could take over for their beloved leader if he felt like it, the silent but deadly sniper that NEVER speaks, and the scary as hell guy who is always pissed off and playing with his knives." Jensen chuckled, "Yeah, surprising that people aren't flocking to us like flies to horse shit."

Clay leaned over and smacked Jesnen on the back of the head, "Language." Jensen looked around and a few of the scientists looked slightly shocked, but the table of marines on the other side were being more foul than that. Jensen shrugged and went back to his burrito.

"So we're finally being allowed out without a sitter?" Jensen said as he crushed his wrapper into a ball and dropped it back onto his plate.

"Looks that way." Clay grabbed his tray and stood up, "Now, can we all just play nice until Monday?"

The all nodded as Clay shook his head and moved to bus his tray.

Clay met Shepard at the window to the dishwashers and John smiled and said, "Looks like your geek and mine aren't playing nice."

Clay burst out laughing, "Most of my guys don't seem to be able to play nice, but yeah. Jensen can have that effect on people."

John clapped the older man on the shoulder, "Rodney can have that same effect on people." John smiled, "Rodney's an acquired taste. He's saved all of out butts more times than I can count, so we give him plenty of space."

"Yeah, Jensen's good at what he does, but he's definitely military. We'll be out of your hair soon enough."

John smiled, "Yeah, good luck with that. I look forward to seeing what you guys stumble into."

"With a sentient city that's got a crush on one of my guys? Who the heck knows; but it'll be one hell of a ride."

They both laughed and headed in different directions.


End file.
